The Kid Who Saw Too Much



Note:
This post is more like a long comment to Pakhi's review of TZP

Another note:
Any similarity to any other work is purely intentional and is an obvious attempt at ruthlessly blatant plagiarism to piggyback a ride on success of other similar but original works. Any statements to the contrary shall not be entertained.

One more note:
Some of the events are real, most others not so. Reader caution be advised in trying to decipher what is real and what is not, that is a question, as mentioned herein, best left to philosophers and drunkards in a bar, or to some extent shows on VH1 and E! that talk about anatomical secrets of celebrities of all kinds... male female and Micheal Jackson.

Final note:
All events depicted in this work of fiction are true [well, in my head they are, what about yours?]

Okay, one more, please???
Okay, okay... get along with the story.

Once upon an age there was a kid, nothing special, just like any other kid. You know, fertile imagination, smart bright, playful... all that jazz, and then a little more. He loved to stare into the night skies and wonder and wonder and wonder even more till he could wonder no more and fell asleep and he fell into his wondrous dreams. His dreams were mostly about, well, you'll soon know.

Like all other kids, he to went to school. And he was a bright kid, too proud to top the class, but smart enough to kick smartest Alec's [no relation to Sir Alec Guinness, though facial features suggested relation to most famous Guinean export] b***t. One day, while teaching a lesson in English class on moon landing, his English teacher said how there is no life on moon because there is no air. All kids nodded in unison, except for this kid. He questioned the teacher's logic.
Why is it so that no air means no life?

You know, he had never heard of Charles Darwin, a name he came to know of later that day from his science teacher when he asked her "Why is it not possible for some lifeform to be present on moon which doesn't need air or water?"

As expected, most students laughed, some sniggered while the teacher scowled. That was the end of it then. But the kid refused to let it rest there. For two days he tried to reason with all who would not listen. That is, the teachers, senior students and his parents. It all stopped the day when he saw his parents sitting with him in the principal's office with an expression of acute concentration on their face, as if they had switched their own kid with someone else's in the maternity ward [accidentally of course, not for a price] and were trying to conjure proof of it, though it only made them look constipated, which they were. From that day onwards he tried to reason with all those who would listen, which mostly meant the rabbits in the school garden, the eucalyptus tree and the aliens living on distant stars who had evolved on planets without air or water, or even land. Oh yes, he could talk to them, in his head at least, literally.

Every night that kid would sit and stare at stars, as aliens communicated to him in a telepathic language, and he saw worlds and life forms, without water and air, or even gravity. His mind was full of answers to questions no one would ask him. He could tell you what sort of creatures would exist on a planet where there were oceans of liquefied Nitrogen Oxide [remember the stuff that froze that terminator in Terminator-2??], who would eat whom, what color the sky be from all the fart going up in the air [oh yeah, they would do that a lot, just to keep the planet warm].

As time went by, the kid started to spend more and more time in the distant worlds which worried his parents as he started calling them Blabberwocky and Jabberpuss, which he insisted were the words for Dad and Mom in the only truly Universal language [the name of which is impossible to write in any language ever evolved on planet Earth, or solar system for that matter, but give and take a few vowels would come to...] oUtterSckhit [note the pronounced 'U' sound, 'K' is silent]. Worried, like any set of perfectly healthy set of parents paranoid their kid is making fun of them, they took him to a shrink, who tried to shrink is mind so as to squeeze it of all the gibberydook [which unaware to him, and in an ironically twisted spoonful of humorous crap that only Intergalactic Trash Service members are licensed to handle, meant 'shrink with a twinky pinky'... ahem] They said the kid was losing touch with reality, which I feel is anyhow a very overrated concept. Who wants reality? I mean, would any daring husband worth his soda and popcorn and love for porn tell his wife that she is fat, or let her live in her own privately constructed reality [free of cost, of course], where her size 48 waist looks 36? Besides, we could go into a whole new tangential timewarp on the topic of reality and illusion, which is better left for philosophers and drunkards in a bar to ponder over.

So, what they did was that they tied the kid to a chair as if he was the most dangerous criminal since Ted Bundy and put metal clamps on his forehead and fried all the images in his head, or at least tried to. Which brings us to the most interesting part. All the technicians and doctors present in that room remember seeing a vision not unlike what Yashodha must have seen in little Krishna's mouth, only projected in Real-3D [I-Max 3D hadn't been invented yet], complete with sound effects and background score borrowed from Star Wars: Phantom Menace [actually it was other way around, the entire movie was based on writings of one of the technicians which found its way to George Lucas, except for Jar Jar Binks, only George Lucas could come up with something as annoying as that]. And of course, followed by a bright white light which blinded them all for a few moments, or so they thought. When they all could see again, it was two weeks later and to this day they've been trying to figure out the source of the gibbosity that has adored their heads ever since.

So, you must be wondering what happened to their libido. No? What happened to the nurse in the sexy... oh, didn’t I tell you that? Wait, there were no nurses. Oops, sorry wrong story reference [note to self: No more hospital porn]. So what you wondering about???

Wait wait wait... stop. STOP.

No, I don’t wanna know what you pervs wondering about. We were talking about a kid, remember? Back to the kid. The shrink surmised that the kid somehow knew all the answers to all the questions in eastern helix of the universe. Of course, he had no idea what he was talking about and checked himself in at his own facility, in a cell right next to a pig who said he could fly.

So, the kid, whose imagination had found the key to unlock all the doors, travel across time and space, and even found the source of eternal life and youth... What? No, don’t ask me, only the kid knows, all the answers to all the questions you can ever ask. Where is the kid, you ask me... that's what we all been wondering ever since we grew up. Well, like all the rest of us...

The child is grown... dream is gone... you know the rest......